A life for a life
by InaZumaElle
Summary: A different ending for episode 30. Much sadness and stuff, please give it a try!


Elle: OK, so here is my first one shot! Kidou: *reads story* ... *inches away from Elle* Elle: OK... This is set during episode 30, but then with a LITTLE different ending after Reize shoots Super Nova Kidou: LITTLE? He~ Elle:*puts hand on Kidou's mouth* hey, don't spoil! Anyway, I don't own Inazuma Eleven because Natsumi and Fudou are still alive. As soon as they die, that would mean I would own it :) Anyway, I don't (yet) Kidou:*hits Elle on head* just start with the story!

Reize stood in front of the goal. 'Learn how powerless you are!' He said. He brought his leg in position. 'ASTRO BREAK!' He yelled, kicking the ball. 'What is this?' Kazemaru asked shocked, trying to keep standing and not be blown over by the wind that came with the force of the shot. 'W-what's happening? Someoka asked.  
'A hissatsu technique?' Ichinose asked.  
'Interesting... Bring it! Endou said, getting in position. 'I won't let you score another one!' Goenji P.O.V Goenji's eyes widened. He had to stop it! It was really powerfull, you could easily tell! He saw that Endou was having struggles to keep standing on his legs at it is! He was about to run to Endou, to provide back up, maybe just letting the ball hit him first so it wouldn't hit Endou so much, but then his eyes fell on the aliens. Yuuka! A image of her shot trough his head, and he stood still, biting his lip. I'm sorry, Endou... He thought. Elle P.O.V Elle narrowed her eyes. This didn't look good... Endou was already injured! This shot... 'ENDOU!' She yelled. She tried to reach the ball but the force of the shoot kept her away, so she could only watch as the ball slammed into Endou, dragging him along with the ball by the force of the shoot, trough the net and into the wall. Time seemed to slow down as Endou crashed into the wall, and then fell down, the loud 'thud' when he landed sounded deafening. Elle's breath caught in her troat, and she felt very dizzy. Her mouth felt dry and for what seemed like hours, even though it was only a second or two, she couldn't move. Then everything went fast. She could move again and with everybody else she runned to Endou, yelling his name in panic. She kneeled down and held the boy in her arms. She looked worried at his pale face. He didn't move. He lie completely still. He was only sleeping, right? He was okay! He HAD to be okay! She reached for Endou's wrist, wanting to check his pulsation. Nothing. She looked for another place on his wrist. Surely she did it wrong, right? She laughed nervously. Goenji, noting how pale Elle looked, walked over. 'Do you feel a hard beat?' He asked, slightly worried. I mean, Goenji was sure he was alive. I mean, sure, the impact was hard but Endou couldn't DIE! He was only 13(?), and he was only trying to protect the thing he loved! Besides, dying because of doing the thing he loved most would be TO ironic! To cruelly ironic. But Goenji was sure he didn't die. He was only unconcious! But why looked Elle like she was going to be sick, then? Goenji shook his head. She was overly worried about him. He was fine. He HAD to be fine. 'I-I can't feel a heartbeat...' Elle said, her voice thick with emotion. Goenji walked over to Endou, and did the same as Elle did moments ago. And again. And again. He paled. No. .. Elle looked at him, her eyes big with tears, unsecurety and hope. 'I was doing it wrong, right? He is okay, right? RIGHT?' Goenji's lips felt dry. He couldn't breath. Black spots appeared in his vision. Finally he found his voice. 'CALL AN AMBULANCE, DAMMIT!' People jumped, scared of the sudden outburst. 'Already done.' Coach Hitomiko said, seemingly calm, but as you listened really carefully you could here that she was scared and worried sick. Goenji looked at Elle. She was still looking at him, anxious, with those big eyes of hers where tears streemed out. She looked a lot younger.  
In fact, she looked and acted like a scared toddler, who lost her parents in the mall and was clinging to a person who was kneeling down to help her. Goenji shook his heade; no time for thinking! ACTION! 'Do you know how to do mouth-to-mouth?' Goenji asked Elle. Elle shook her head. 'Guide me trough it.' She said determined. She was acting like her old self again, realising that she had to pull herself together if she wanted to save Endou. Goenji took a deep breath. 'Place on hand under his neck, and one hand on his forehead, tilt his head back as far as possible.' Goenji instructed. Elle nodded, and obeyed. 'What now?' She asked. 'Close his nostrils.' Goenji said. Elle obeyed again. 'Take a deep breath, cover his mouth completely with your own and exhale hard, repeat that four times. Stop three seconds,  
and do it again but only exhale one time.' Goenji instructed again. Elle nodded yet again and followed Goenji's instructions carefully. Elle checked Endou's heartbeat several times, asking Goenji a million times if she was really doing it right. Goenji wondered where that dammned ambulance was, and why they didn't hurry. It finally came and Goenji sighed. It seemed like hours till it came, even though it was only a matter of minutes. People jumped out of the ambulance, rushing to Endou, pulling Elle roughly aside. They took him into the ambulance and Elle jumped in to. When they where about to say that she couldn't go with the ambulance, she shot them a death glare, and they just sighed and gave entrance.

Goenji P.O.V As soon as the ambulance ride away, we all stood there, shocked, paralysed. Realisation didn't quite hit most of us yet. The ones where it DID hit, where crying. I just stood there in shock, looking at the point where Endou lay,  
to where the ambulance disappeard from sight and where back to the place where Endou lay. I felt like I was going to be sick. Someone handed me a bag, which I gratefully took, and emptied my stomach in it. I looked up, seeing that it was coach Hitomiko who handed me the bag.  
She looked really distressed to. Of course, she was responsible for him... I looked away, to the ground, breathing heavily. Then I shot up. The hospital! What where we doing, standing here, doing nothing? We had to go to the hospital, and fast! As on cue, the Inazuma Caravan drove on the field, and we all jumped in. In our hurry, no one noticed that Reize jumped in the car to.

Elle's P.O.V

I stood in the ambulance, watching in pure shock and disbelieve at all the events. I felt so... numb. My heart felt cold, almost painfully cold. I felt like I was going to be sick. Finally, the ambulance arrived at the hospital. They took Endou out and and I jumped after them. They stopped me, however, telling me that he was going into surgery. That meant the paramedics succeed in letting Endou's heart beat again! I let out a sigh of relief, but then focused again. 'How big are the chances that he's not going to make it?' I asked the nurse who stopped me from going in. She didn't answer, and bit her lip. 'More than 60%?' I guessed. The nurse just nodded. I got angry. 'You're a nurse, dammit! What are the chances of him dying?'  
The nurse looked me right into the eye. '85 procent.' The nurse said. Without hesitation, I ran to the toiled and emptied my stomach.

Goenji's P.O.V

I sat in the waiting room, and I could tell I looked like death. My eyes where bloodshot and red from all the crying, I was probably really pale, and I was shaking so much that if you would give my a glass of water, it would be empty before it could even reach my mouth. Not that I cared, I mean, Endou was in surgery now, fighting for his life! My fault. I shook my head, but I couldn't shake the thought out. ..fault. If only I helped him. If only I stopped it. If only I didn't stood still, watching. He bit his lip. If only...

Angel P.O.V

I rushed into the hospital, panicking. I stood still abruptly when I saw Goenji. He looked like a nervous wreck, his head lie in his hands, and he was shaking. I felt my heart break into little pieces. I slowly walked over to him. 'G-Goenji...' I said, feeling a lump in my throat. He looked up, and I gasped. His eyes where bloodshot and tears where flowing out of them. But his eyes... His eyes showed so much sadness, so much regret, so much... Guilt? What was he guilty about? 'A-Angel...' He said, his voice pretty much matching his appearance. Before I could reply I felt that he pulled me into a hug. 'I-it's my fault..' He cried between sobs. 'It's not!' I told him. 'Don't blame yourself!' He shook his head. 'You just say that! What is the point of saying it if you don't know why I feel that way?' Goenji said to me. '...' Good point... I thought to myself. 'Okay,' I say. 'Why do you feel that way? I ask Goenji. I felt him stiffen. 'I didn't do anything. I didn't help him. Just... stood there!' He cried harder. 'B-but I didn't h-had a choice! T-They had Y-Yuuka! I... I... I KILLED ENDOU!' I shook my head. 'You didn't.' I felt that Goenji was going to argue but I cut him of. Firstly, because he isn't death yet and he isn't going to. He's a fighter, and we both know that. He will make it trough! Secondly, you didn't shoot that ball.' I didn't notice that Reize cringed at that statement. In fact, nobody noticed Reize, everyone was to absorved in their own sorrow and grief. Goenji released me and bit his lip. 'B-but still...' I shook my head. No. No argument. I pulled Goenji in a hug again. The normally calm boy was sobbing uncontrollably now.' I stiffened. Goenji noticed it and pulled out of the hug. 'What's wrong?' He asked worried. I looked around. 'Where is Elle?' I asked. Goenji bit his lip again and pointed at the bathroom. I cringed. 'She must take it hard...' I mumbled. Goenji just nodded. I looked him into the eye. 'You're still feeling guilty.' It was a statement, but it was angry. Goenji simply nodded. 'Goenji!' I exclaimed angry. You shouldn't feel guilty! You couldn't- Before I could finish my sentence, Goenji cut me off. 'I could. I could run to the ball, trying to tackle Reize or something, maybe even jump in front of Endou. But I didn't.' I looked at him. 'But they have your sister. You had no choice! Endou would understand that! Everyone will!' Goenji looked at me suspicious. 'How do you know?' He asked me. 'Well... Elle heard what you said just now and she hasn't killed you yet, so I think she doesn't blame you.' Goenji turned around and looked at Elle. 'Even if your sister wasn't held as hostage, and you would have runned to him, it wouldn't have helped either. What did you think I tried to do? That shoot was to strong to come anywhere near!' Elle said. I nodded. 'Yep, and if you jumped in front of the ball... Then it would just hit you to and then you BOTH would be fighting for your life. I told him. Elle cringed. Whoops, that wasn't the most subtle way to say that... 'Sorry...' I whispered. Elle bit her lip. 'It's okay...' She sank on the uncomfortable hospital chair and pulled her knees up to her chest, her feet now perched on her seat, and her head rested on her knees.I put a hand on her shoulder and gave a slight squeeze. She just closed her eyes and sighed. I turned around to face Goenji. He looked tired to. I grabbed his hand and guided him to the chair. 'Get some rest.' I instruct him soothingly. He nods and closes his eyes.

Time skip: after surgery Normal P.O.V

Elle sat on a chair, how long did they waited already? She sighed. Around her where the Raimon Eleven sitting, some of them not even on a chair, just on the ground. Everyone of them looked tired, both emotionally and physically. Next to Elle sat Angel, she was silently talking to Goenji, who was listening to her with his eyes closed. Sometimes Angel would steel a glance at Elle but she would look away and refuse to make eye contact. Everyone who got closer than 1 metre to her could expect a few broken bones and bruises as result. At least, that is what her body language said. Finally Angel could look into Elle's eyes, and Angel bit her lip sadly. Elle's eyes showed so much anger, so much hate... Angel wasn't sure to who they where directed. To Reize? To faith? Anfel honestly didn't know. But, when you looked better, you saw sadness. And with that in mind, if you looked at her again you saw a scared child, angry at everyone because there wasn't really someone to blame for all the bad that had happened. Elle looked away from Angel again, feeling her eyelids close. She opened her eyes again, feeling how dry her lips where. She stood up and walked to the water machine that stood mere metres away. She grabbed a cup and poured some water in it. It was only then that she noticed that her hands where shaking. She shook her head and didn't pay much attention to it. It was then that a nurse walked to us, with a questioning, yet sad, expression on her face. 'You are friends of Endou Mamoru?' She asked. Elle walked to the nurse. 'Yes,' She answered. 'What is his condition?' The women only shook her head slowly. 'I'm sorry.' She said, sadly. Elle's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly. She dropped the cup of water she was holding. It hit the ground and water and glass flee around. Elle shook her head. 'No! You're lying! He can't be death! YOU'RE LYING! YOU'RE LYING! She yelled, trying to keep her tears from falling. 'HE ISN'T DEATH! HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIS FRIENDS BEHIND! HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED ME! HE PROMISED HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME! HE LIED!'  
Elle shaked, she clenched her hand in a fist so hard, that her knuckles where white and because of digging her nails into her skin so hard, she drew blood. 'He... promised...' Thats when her knees collapsed and she fall on the cold hospital floor. Everyone stood there, paralyzed, in shock. Elle was choking on her sobs, she couldn't breath, she was dizzy, she was... she was in her own personal Hell. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she wildly slapped it away. She stood up, barely holding balance, she ran to the exit. Ran. Just ran, just wanting to leave. Running, she needed the adrenalin, as long she ran, the reality didn't hit her. She panted, her legs felt tired and heavy. She didn't even think of stopping. She couldn't see where she was running, everything was in a blur because of her tears. She automatically runned away from the busy city, because even though she couldn't care less now, her subconsciousness didn't wanted her to run trough red and get hit by a car. Running. She had to keep running. How long is it been? Where was she? She didn't know, and she didn't care. Everything hurted, aches, she was tired, she was out of breath, her mouth was dry and she was feeling slightly dizzy. Still, she didn't stop. But then her knees just collapsed, she fell hard on the hard asphalt. She just lay there, no energy anymore. She somewhat hold a little closer on herself, then she bailed her eyes out. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care where she was. She didn't care that Angel must be worried. She didn't care that her body hurted, it wasn't anything compared to the pain in her heart. .Didn'. Why? Why? WHYYY? Why Mamoru? Kind, loving,strong, perfect Mamoru. Why not her? Mamoru didn't deserve to die! Elle looked up, tears streeming like there was no end to them. Please. She begged silently. Please take me. Give my life for his. But as she expected, nothing happened. She went home, feeling... numb. All emotion drained out of her, leaving only a cold hole in her heart.

Angel P.O.V

I paled. N-no... He couldn't be death! Impossible! I wasn't aware of my surroundings for a while, it was like time paused. It didn't, because when I shook my head, I saw Elle sitting on the floor, crying. I lay my hand on her shoulder, but she wildly slapped it away. 'Elle...' I mumbled in shock. She stood up, almost falling down again, but finding her balance just in time. Before anyone could do something, Elle dashed out of the hospital. I tried to run after her, but it took a second for my legs to work and when I was outside, Elle was already gone, out of sight. In a daze, I walked back inside. I saw everyone sobbing on the ground, well not everyone... Reize stood there, wide eyed, paralyzed, in shock. His mouth was open, and he didn't move. Nobody noticed him. I slowly walked to him, angry, but I understood it was an accident. That didn't take away that he killed my best friends boyfriend (kind of boyfriend, Elle's and Endou's relation ship was... complicated... But I knew Elle had a giant crush on Endou)  
I touched Reize's shoulder lightly. Reize jumped tough, he turned around, looking scared. 'G-gomen...' Reize stuttered and dazed out of the hospital, just like Elle had minutes ago. A simple word, but it held so much emotion. You could clearly hear the sorrow, the guilt, in his voice. 'DON'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR ELLE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!' I yelled at Reize, hoping that he heard me. I slowly walked over to Goenji, she slit down to the ground, and placed my arm agains Goenji's shoulder, pulling him into a hug. Together they silently grieved.

Elle P.O.V With a lump in my throat I walked to the reception in the hospital. The receptionist looked at me questioning. I swallowed. 'I'd like to see Mamo- Endou...' I almost flinched. Even saying his name hurted. The women behind the reception nodded and types something on her computer. 'Room 104.' She tells me. 'Arigatou...' I say with a little bow, walking to the elevator. I was so emotionally worn out that I even was acting polite... I bit my lip and slowly made my way over to room 104, while my mind was yelling things like: "Run! Run while you can! Women and children first! RUUUUN! Turn around! TURN AROUND AND RUN!" Trying to ignore my thoughts, I was still torn between listening to my thoughts and obey them or keep walking. I wanted to see Mamoru, but... I was scared. I was really really scared. So I just resumed walking as slowly as possible, till there was no way back. Room 102... Step, step, left foot first, then right foot... Room 103... Keep breathing... Breath in... '...' AND OUT DAMMIT! Okay... Room 104... Okay... I reached out to the doorhandle. It felt cold. I slowly opened the door and walked in. 'You can do this...' I told myself as I made my way to his bed. I closed my eyes and faced Endou. I slowly opened my eyes, and bit back the urge to close my eyes again and run home, where I would craddle under a blanket where it was safe and cozy. Endou lay in a hospital bed, looking small, innocent, fragile and vulnerable. But mostly pale. Really pale. I swallowed and bit my lip to prevent me from crying. Apparently I bit to hard, because I drew blood. A single drop slid down my face to my chin, but I barely registered it. I slowly caress Endou's face. He looks so peacefull.. And pale... You can obviously see that he isn't sleeping. I wish he was, because now... He won't wake up. Ever. It scares me. Those brown eyes will never open again. Will never see a soccer ball again, or his friends and family. Will never look at me again, with laughter in them. My glance slid down, to the blanked that blocked the view of the rest of his body. His arms... They will never catch a soccer ball again, will never high five a friend again, will never hold me again... His legs will never stand up again, will never run again, won't do anything ever again. I slowly looked at Endou's face again. His ears... Will never hear the voices of his friends and family again, will never hear laughter again... Will never... hear me say what I wanted to say to him for a long time now. I looked at his lips. They will never smile again, never encourage people again,... Will never... I slowly moved my head to Endou's. 'I love you...' I whispered, and then gave him a slow peck on his lips. I half expect Endou to open his eyes and smile at me. But this isn't a clich movie or something. Mamoru is death. He will never help a friend or troubled person anymore, will never turn an enemy into friend again, will never light up people's day by just being there. Will never get lectured because of sleeping in class again. He would look at me, telling me that I was special again. He will never give me another bracelet or necklace again as sign of our friendship again. Never. He will graduate school, get a diploma, find a nice girl, marry her... Most importantly; I never could tell him my feelings, and he could never hear them, and ask me what my words mean. I would never ruffle his hair and tell them that he'll understand when he's older. He won't pout and tell me that I'm acting like he's parents, and I could never laugh at that and invite him to play soccer. He is death. D-e-a-t-h. And that's my reality for now. As much as I hate it.

Time skip, at the funeral Elle P.O.V I sat on a chair, looking around me. I felt oddly calm. I looked down at my outfit; black pants, black shirt with a tiny soccer ball in the corner. I didn't wear a dress for two reasons; I just don't wear dresses, I'm to much a tomboy for that. Secondly, I'm not dressing up. You do that for happy occasions. Mamoru's funeral is NOT a happy occasions. By far. As I sat here, faintly hearing people talking how good of a person Mameru was, I couldn't help but think about the last time Mamoru talked to me...

Flashback Elle P.O.V I stood near the team, listening at Endou as he started his pep talk for this match. 'Last time, we couldn't do anything because of their speed, but this is the second time! We'll show him our soccer this time!' Endou said, optimistic. I just smiled. Is there going to be a situation where he ISN'T being optimistic? Doubt so... 'Their weapon is that menacing speed. Kidou stated. They'll likely cut in any long passes. We'll head up with short passes.' 'Yeah!' Endou agreed. 'All right, let's go, everyone!' I was about to follow the team to my place in the field when Endou stopped me. 'Ehh...' I turned around to be greet with an extraordinary view; Endou looked at the ground and I was pretty sure he was blushing. 'What's up?' I asked him. Endou looked up and smiled at me, while extending his hand. I gasped. In his hand lay a little necklace, it was a soccer ball with a tiny heart in the corner.  
'It's beautiful...' I whispered, slowly touching the cool surface of the necklace. I looked at him and smiled. He looked at me, his eyes showed happiness, as always, but also a little seriousness. 'You're pretty when you smile...' He said, as he put the necklace on my neck. I blushed and hugged him. 'You're my best friend.' He told me. I smiled and said; 'And you're my best friend.'

Present time

I looked at my hand, the necklace lay in it. I slowly carrased it. 'Does anyone else wants to say something?' I hear someone ask.  
Before I knew what I was doing, I stood up and walked over to the little podium in the front of the room. I grabbed the microfoon and looked into the room, scanning the faces of the people who sat there. I didn't have to think about words, they just came. 'Mamoru was my best friend, and I can talk about all his good characterstics, but then we would be here for another month. Also, I'm not good at the emotional stuff, but I'm going to give it a try, though. I don't think there is a person on this earth where Mamoru could not be friends with. He is nice to everyone, and gives everyone a chance. He can see the good in people, looks behind the appearence and additude, to find a nice person. He gives so much about his friends and family... And even though we're all sad, at a certain point we have to move on. We would hurt him if we kept grieving, he would want us to be happy, he hates to see us all sad. I think he's not gone, he's still here, in the sky, looking at us, supporting us in his own way. He's never truly gone. Right now, I think he's playing soccer in Heaven, because if he's not in Heaven, then there is none. I think he already made lots of friends, and is playing soccer without difficulties, just the soccer he loves so much..' I looked at Raimon Eleven. 'He doesn't want us to quite soccer, it might hurt us, but let's try. For him.' I swallowed and walked of the tiny stair, back to my seat. A song started to play. (. com/watch?v=FVPpqaPsJzM) Heartbeat, sky high,  
tell you that I'm gonna fly.  
Peaceful, weightless,  
rainbows watch me passing by.

Up in the air, there's no need to hurry,  
Wind through my hair, no time to worry.  
& though I'm falling through the clouds,  
Oh, I'm shouting out loud.

Up in the air, there's no time for sorrow,  
just here & now, no fears for tomorrow.

High jump, sky dive you won't stop me, I'm alive fearless, head strong knowing that I will survive

Up in the air, there's no need to hurry,  
Wind through my hair, no time to worry.  
& though I feel like a butterfly & you're the only reason why.

Open your heart, don't wait any longer. Let me be yours, together we're stronger.

Up down, high low.  
Watch me flyin', here I go.  
Take my hand, & where we're going,  
no one kwows,

Up in the air, there's no need to hurry Wind through my hair, no time to worry & though I'm up here in the sky, oh you're making me fly.

Up in the air, there's no time for sorrow,  
just here & now, no fears for tomorrow.

Bright day, sun shine,  
tell you that I'm feeling fine.  
Knowing doubtless that you will be forever mine

Up in the air, there's no need to hurry Wind through my hair, no time to worry & though I'm falling through the clouds now Oooh I'm falling through the clouds now.

Heartbeat, sky high.  
Tell you that I'm gonna fly.  
Peaceful, weightless rainbows watch me passing by.

Up in the air, there's no need to hurry Wind through my hair, no time to worry & though I'm falling through the clouds now,  
Can't you see?

& oh I'm falling through the clouds now, baby

Heartbeat, sky high tell you that I'm gonna fly.

I swallowed. The song was... odly fitting. I mean, a sad song would match my emotion right now more, but it just doesn't fit with Mamoru. Mamoru is happy, care free! Like this song... Yeah, it really fits well. I slowly followed the crowd out of the room. Most of the people where going to an other room to drink something. I didn't. I slowly walked to Mamoru's grave. I sat in front of it. A little girl with her mother walked to me. 'Put down the flower, honey.' The women told her daughter. The girl nodded and put down the flower. I looked at the women curiously. The women looked back at me. 'Are you a friend of Endou?' She askes me. I nod, speechless. The women looks at the little girl, who was happily chasing a butterfly. 'He... saved my Aya-chan...' I looked at the women surprised. Aya was ill, deathly ill... Her heart was weak, and she didn't have much time left... She was as high up the wait list as she could, due her age... But still, she didn't had much time left and we lost all hope that she would get a new heart in time... But then... The women looked at Endou's grave. 'Your friend was a donor. He donated his heart... He saved my Ayase... I'm so thankfull!' The women wiped away a tear. I was speechless. I looked at the girl. Ayase... She... she had Mamoru's heart. She could live because of Mamoru's death... I smiled and looked at the little girl. 'Aya-chan, isn't it? Shall we go to the playground?' The girl nodded excitedly. I smiled and holded the girls hand. 'Let's go!'

Time skip, a month later

I had visited Ayase and her mother often. I started calling Ayase Aya-chan and she calls me Elle nee-san. Aya-chan is a really sweet and nice girl, and I love learning her how to play soccer. She is really good in it. Well, good for a five year old... Aya-chan... That means miracle in Arabic. It fits. This may sound stupid and clich , but I get the feeling that Mamoru continues to live trough Ayase. It makes me feel somewhat less sad. Even so, I can't seem to move on! I mean, I know it takes time to heal if someone close to you dies, but it's been a MONTH! I mean, even his parents have somewhat started to pick up live again! Slowly, but steadily... But I... I had another nightmare tonight. It started not so bad, it was a memory. Me and Mamoru where playing soccer, laughing and chatting, but then came screams and yells, then it was black... Then I saw Mamoru, playing soccer, I ran to him, but for every step I came closer, he went away, I ran, I screamed, I yelled but I couldn't reach him. Then he disappeard. When I woke up I cried for 2 hours straight. I sighed, grabbed my phone, put in earplugs and walked to a empty playground and sat on the swing. I absentmindly listened to music, not really payed attention to it. It was weird, I feel sad, but that's all I feel about Mamoru's death. Except a nightmare once in the month, I felt... fine. Which was weird. But I felt okay. I sighed, and then gasped. If you ask me, how I'm doing, I would say I'm doing just fine. I would lie and say you're not on my mind. But I go out, and I sit down, at a table set for two, and finally I'm forced to see the truth; I'm not over you. Not over you. My mouth falls open as realisation hits me. Was I... lying to myself? Pretending to be fine? 'I'm not over you...' I whisper. The next song starts playing.  
Seems like just yesterday You were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight Everything, it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong Now I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out For hating you, I hate myself Seeing you it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside Anymore...

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I was speechless. This was exactly how I was feeling! I softly song along with the refrain. 'Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you where the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see the tears I cry,...' I didn't realise I started crying until a teardrup fell on my hand. I bit my lip, I felt way to tired to wipe my tears away. I was exhausted. Then it hit me... I never could say goodbye to him. How could I fully accept his death when I didn't say goodbye? I searched trough my MP3 section and then selected a song. I softly started to sing along ( . com/watch?v=KEd86P_ZuPw) 'Sayonara daisuki na hito... Sayonara daisuki na hito... Mada daisuki na hito! Kuyashii yo totemo... Kanashii yo totemo... Mou kaette konai. Soredemo watashi no daisuki na hito! I sang the rest of the song, it was EXACTLY how I felt, it was so fitting... That's why I like music, it can describe you, you're personality, you're mood... It can CHANGE you're mood, give you advice, make you laugh, make you happy, make you sad... (please search on youtube the song; Sayonara Daisuki Na Hito, it was the song Elle sang, and it's with English lyrics so you know what it means. PLEASE DO IT! It's weird, it was EXACTLY the song that describes what Elle wants to say) I looked up into the air. I hope that with my goodbye said, I can finally move on...  
Time skip ... It's so frustrating! I still can't move on! What do I have to do before I can finally move on? I don't want to be stuck in the past, and I know Mamoru will only find peace when I find happiness again! Wait... that's it! I can't find peace until... Until... I smirk and walk to my house. Reize P.O.V I'm being eaten by guilt. I can't eat, sleep, do anything but stare at the wall like a zombie. A single sentense repeats itself over and over again in my head. '.Him.' Over and over again. I shudder. The bell rings. I look up surprised. Who can that be? I'm the only one in Sun Garden right now, the rest is still with Father, being busy with the Aliea Acedemie project. I tried to protest but since I'm the lowest rank, they just hit me until I ran. I shook my head and walked to the door. 'Hello?' I asked, as I opened it. Then I gasped, there stood Elle. Angels words flew into my head. 'Stay away from Elle if you want to live!' I hopped on my other food nervously. 'Eh, hello...' Elle just stared at me. Her eyes where cold, and I couldn't move. She slowly stepped in. 'Hello, murderer.' She said. I stepped back uncomfortable. She closed the door behind her and grinned at me maliciously. I swallowed and took a step back. And another one. And another one. Elle kept walking to me until my back hit the wall. 'C-can't we t-talk about it?' I asked her, desperatly. Elle slowly shook her head while grabbing a knife out of her pocket.'Ofine, my last words where the most stupid ever!' I mentally scolded myself. 'A life for a life, Reize...' Elle said evilly.

Time skip, next day Elle P.O.V I sat on a chair in the cafeteria of my school. I was about to grab my water bottle out of my bag when Angel came running to me. 'Elle!' She yelled. 'Did you hear it?' 'Hear what?' I asked, faking innocents. 'Reize commited suicide!' Angel said, sitting down next to me. I raised my brow. 'I couldn't take the guilt of killing someone anymore, that stood on his suicide note...' Angel told me. I pretended to care, but when Angel didn't look I smirked. 'A life for a live, Reize...'

Elle: the end! Ok, so guess who's going to win the 'worst-girlfriend-ever' award? Kidou: let's see, you killed you're boyfriend! I think... YOU!  
Elle: *rolls eyes* geez, who would've thought? *sarcastic* Endou: *stares at Elle* Elle: ehm... I'm... sorry?  
Endou: *walks away*  
Elle: Endou! MATTE! ONEGAI! MATTE! *runs after Endou* Gomen! Mamoru! MATTE!  
Kidou: OK... Elle wants to say: I know I made Goenji OOC, but if I would make him his calm self, he would've looked like a heartless monster, acting all calm when a close friend of him dies. So you tell me what's best; an OOC sobbing Goenji, or a heartless Goenji? I mean, they're both OOC anyway because Goenji isn't heartless... OK, Angel, I made you comfort Goenji as a thank you for helping me with 'all alone' you're amezing! Thanks for reading, please review and don't kill me for killing Endou and Reize. I mean, remember, I killed REIZE, not Midorikawa! Bye! 


End file.
